Yes?
Am I interrupting?
Jan-Erik?
Good day to you, Jan-Erik.
I thought we'd make some changes for tonight.
Perri, Jan-Erik and I have to work.
Fine by me.
I was going to work on my tan anyway!
On the beach.
In a hockey glove behind the boiler.
Do you know how long it's taken to renovate this hotel?
How much work has gone into every nail?
This purity, light, openness... You can't place any old thing in it.
You don't tell Beethoven that his sonata
needs a boogie-woogie movement.
For fuck's sake, it's just a silly little statue!
Everything matches here. The curtains match the cutlery
which match the tablecloths...
If this hotel is so perfect, how can this little wooden man ruin it all?
OK, put the fucking thing up, then!
Hi!
The builders take half that cost.
So this is my share.
It says beaded panelling, but we had unplaned, didn't we?
That? It's Tove's... A girl thing.
But she's part of this hotel, so...
Sure.
I think it's quite fun, actually.
Hey, look. I've found a beautiful glass mosaic
from an old church in Tuscany.
Let's see...
Keskinen...
I need your help with something.
I...
I think this is working out fine.
Can't we go on like this, we three?
Eh?
We're a perfect match.
We don't interfere with each other's business.
Damn, no matches!
You've never seen us perform magic, have you?
No.
You should.
Hi.
My name's Ray.
What's your name?
Your name's Ray, my name's Gerd. What's your name?
Your name's Ray, your name's Gerd,
my name's Claes. What's your name?
Y-Your name's R-Ray, your name's Gerd,
your name's C-Claes,
and my name's B-Börje. What's your name?
What's your name?
Come on, Ray, leave him alone.
Let him go.
What's your name?
What did you say?
Ray.
Christer has made great progress today.
He broke the "sound barrier", so to speak.
That's great!
Thank you for coming, Christer.
Yes.
Oh, yes. Christer seems a little afraid of physical contact.
It's incredibly important to have bodily contact
in the rehabilitation process.
It's essential if Christer is to recover.
So try to live normal lives as much as you can.
Good luck.
What's your name? My name's Ray, my name's Ray...
Well,
I guess we'll have to try and do as she says.
Put your seatbelt on.
Yes.
Well... I think it's time for me to go to bed.
Yes...
Christer!
Yes?
What are you doing?
Christer?
Yes?
I'm off to bed...
Yes.
Hello.
Hi.
Cider?
What the hell?
We have to stick together through this, Morgan.
OK?
Look! It's Flavio to a tee!
Yes.
That's great, Morgan.
But weren't you going to invite Massoud?
No.
But I'm sure he wants to come.
He doesn't eat crayfish.
We don't just have to eat crayfish. We can have those
napas and tapas and tacos and hats!
Funny hats!
We can have a Mexican crayfish party!
OK, who wants to stick the stamp on?
Ray. He likes Barbapappa. I'll draw him one.
Levrén?
Levrén, yes.
Do you know what we're having?
No...
We're having a nice time together.
Excuse me... You have to stop.
Ever since I saw "The Sting" with Robert Redford and Paul Newman,
I've wanted to be a banker.
On Tuesday I'm going to a job interview at a bank.
What?
I really want the job, and I know I can do it.
But I'm worried they'll be put off by my charisma.
You in a bank?
Help me. What do they ask?
First, they'll ask you why you want the job.
I like being in vast, old rooms...
For God's sake. The job.
It's just handling paper and money. A monkey could do that.
What I think they want to hear is that you're reliable, ambitious
keen to work, able to fit in...
And responsible.
Just do the opposite of what you normally do!
Keep a low profile. Don't mention eyeshades and sleeve protectors.
It's a good idea about the low profile.
Tone down the charisma a bit.
Good idea.
Tell us about your hiding place.
Not on your life.
Do I have to?
I think you want to.
It's... I...
I have a fish. On the shelf.
Behind it is my secret place. When I open it and stick my arm in...
Where you hide your porn?
Tons of it.
I've collected so much porn on my travels.
From around the world.
In Japan there's a magazine for every position. With horses
and running around naked, and along comes a huge guy in a bearskin...
Johan. Why do you lie so much?
I don't!
The last two times you've lied about sex.
And the porn. Is that also a lie?
No.
What do you have in there?
Porn.
I mean...
What do you have in there?
Porn. Horse porn.
We're here to confide in each other. What do you have in there?
A pair of socks.
What?
A pair of socks!
Oh, yes. I had a weird dream last night.
Actually, it was about you, Olle.
Is that a fact.
We were in a restaurant. It was really nice.
And then we strolled through town
until we arrived at your place.
You asked me if I wanted to come in.
And then we're in your hall.
And you help me off with my coat.
And then you ask me if you can fix my hair.
Because it's fallen over my face, like this.
And you take your hand
and push my hair behind my ear.
And then I bite you,
and the blood spurts everywhere, and I scream:
"In your dreams, you dirty old sod!"
Can't we finish now? I feel awful.
Yes, let's finish.
Tove, can you come here a second?
Hi.
Have you met Keskinen?
Of course I've met Keskinen.
Today?
Today.
Keskinen! What the hell are you playing at?
Sorry!
Oh my God, Richard!
OK, bye.
Christ, Richard, look at him.
Tove, darling. Please don't put him back.
... over the bottle, and one cylinder over the glass.
And now...!
Now the glass is... here!
And the bottle here!
I'd like to ask the audience to check...
Do you know what happens when you display him?
I go back down to division 5.
I go back down to that tacky world I came from.
And all the bad taste there...
All of it is embodied in that statue.
But
if he can't stay, then neither can I.
I came up with this trick when Kelly lost her purse in Oslo in 1957.
The police wanted a full description of its contents
and Kelly went through it all down to the last penny!
We were so broke we made engagement rings out of tin foil!
Now the audience thinks I was stingy. Foil was expensive in those days!
What have you got in your inside pocket?
Well?
A flask of whiskey!
Yes, that's correct!
They crawl out of the woodwork, the so-called friends, relatives.
Vultures come to feast on the corpse.
The Nile is brimming over with crocodile tears
and my generosity knows no bounds.
Sören H. Lindberg will once again fill these petty, boring little lives
with meaning, joy and booze.
I know no one, no one knows me, everyone knows the monkey. Welcome!
Hello! It's been a long time! Great to see you. Come in.
Hi, ladies!
Got your cutlery in your hair?
Exactly.
Kenneth...
That womaniser Erland. "The Virgin Erlands" we called him.
I've always liked women's company. It's just the way I am.
I've no idea who he is.
It's someone Dad knew.
I think it's one of Dad's friends. He's called Tarmo.
Welcome.
I'd like to welcome everyone to this
lovely, oriental-themed evening.
Yes, indeed. And all in accordance with Sören H. Lindberg's last wishes.
We bid farewell to a great man.
We who knew Sören know that what he loved best was having fun.
Imagine if more people had his attitude to life.
The world would be a very different place. Particularly the Middle East.
And perhaps the Midwest.
That's it! A round of applause for Sören!
I'm Roffe Lindvall, and tonight we're going to have fun!
I'll be back later, same time, same channel.
It's time – just get the tape going.
Here's a little song from the Orient.
It's called "Pure, unadulterated joy".
Just a little background music for the party.
OK, let's go...
Gong, gong, little Chinaman Ding, ching, dong...
Kjell Levrén! Come in!
Hello.
Hello. I'm Anna.
Flower.
Thank you.
Hi, Kjell Levrén. Station manager, SSK.
We've met.
Oh, yes.
This is Morgan.
The kid, yes. Kjell Levrén, SSK.
Your heating. Municipal?
No, electric cartridge.
We've got geothermal. Cuts down heating costs considerably.
So, what else is new?
New?
Eh?
I said, new?
What else is new?
Well, there's a...
Right, Ray!
Thank you.
Kjell Levrén, station manager SSK.
My name's Ray. What's your name?
K-Kjell Levrén, station manager SSK.
What else is new?
Hello. My name's Ray. What's your name?
Kjell. Well, that's sorted...
A pair of tights!
You got some chewing tobacco. Best put it in the fridge...
My name's Ray. What's your name?
What's up?
No thanks, I'm driving. No booze or crayfish for me!
I'll have it in the wine. I like to mix mine...
Here's a straw for you to drink through. Don't blow, suck!
... cats, rabbits, whatever. I even cremated a lizard today.
... we send him stuff and write...
What's his name?
Flavio. That's him up there.
So they've put you in charge of the grill. Is that appropriate?
What do you mean?
Who was it that lit the incinerator and disfigured your father?
Wasn't it you who pushed the button?
Well?
Have you forgotten?
Just keep your fingers off machines you don't know how to work. OK?
But he'll be reminded of that for the rest of his life, won't he?
He's going to speak, so you can stop jabbering.
Ladies and gentlemen.
I may look like a monkey,
but I...
I'm the happiest man in the world.
Most of all I'd like to propose a toast to my wife,
who's helped me through all my difficulties.
She's fed me and helped me go to the toilet.
She's rocked me to sleep.
She's been absolutely fantastic.
So...
So, Anna...
I'm so grateful to be able
to spend the rest of my life together with you.
To Anna.
Cheers, then.
Cheers.
That was subtle...
Top me up, Larsson!
I never knew cactus could be so tasty!
Best cactus I've ever drunk!
Don't want to be 2-dimensional anymore
Thanks for everything.
What a great evening.
Excellent.
Good, eh?
Maybe the song surprised you. But I learnt it when I was in China.
But you've never been there. You've never been anywhere.
Have a good time, everyone.
A round of applause for Sören H. Lindberg's one-act play:
Cancer.
Hello. Can I join in?
Go away. We can't play with you.
Then along came a little jockey and saw the Cancer's plight.
So he plucked up courage and said: "I'd like to play with you!"
That made the Cancer very happy, so he cuddled the old man
and wanted to be with him in every way he could.
But soon the Cancer became greedy
and started to eat away at the jockey's lithe little body.
Deeper and deeper he ate, until one day the jockey died.
Bad Cancer, bad Cancer. Chemotherapy for Cancer!
But Cancer was only doing his job. It wasn't his fault
that he was put on earth to eat us up slowly from inside.
Thank you. A round of applause for Trixie, Mikaela, Tommy and Dorinda.
You'll get cancer, you'll get cancer. Ha, ha, ha.
You'll get cancer!
Sören was a man of great depth.
He wanted to give himself to us, through food, as a last farewell.
In tribute to all the women who have loved me
and whom I, Sören H. Lindberg, have made love to
I'd like to take this opportunity to hand out these roses.
The first rose goes to Ulla-Britt.
Here you are, Ulla-Britt.
The next name is Lillemor.
Here's a rose for your long, loyal service.
The next name is Sally. Do we have a Sally?
Thank you. How nice of Sören to remember me.
The next name is Johanna.
A rose...
Come back, Johanna!
Next up, Bianca!
One evening, I said to Johanna:
"I think it's my randiness and joy of life"
"that's driven me over the years. What do you think?"
"You don't want to know," she said. "I do," I said.
"Randiness and joy? All you know is rage and vindictiveness."
That's a bit strong. Who wants drives like that?
It's Sören's last wish. You should feel honoured by this kind gift.
A round of applause for Tarmo from Estonia.
I represent Estonian horse racing.
Tonight I also represent the Estonian people.
We're an oppressed people – but we love horseracing.
And so we're very grateful
for this lovely present
that Sören H. Lindberg has given us.
We hope to derive much pleasure from this fine horse.
Maybe Pirog!
What?
What do you care about pirogues?!
What's he mean, "Pirog"?
No idea.
Hello, my friends. It's great to be back.
Though what do I know? This hologram was recorded before I died.
As you can see, I'm not really here.
I come to you in the form of gas.
All my money went on this machine from Düsseldorf.
Instead of an inheritance, I give you something to remember for ever.
Me, a gaseous hologram of gas. Have fun!
There was all kinds of food there...
You've never seen such a party!
Here they come with the horse.
Yes, it's wearing jeans.
Don't you believe me?